hidden blessings

tubes and isabela

2012-02-16T10:36:00.000-06:00

you would never know that this little sweetheart had tubes put in this morning.

aside from a little crankiness after she woke up, she's been doing great.

this whole thing has been a bit weird for me. we were there at 6:15, in surgery at 7:00, done by 7:04, woke up by 7:07, and we were out the door for home by 7:30. fast fast fast. they were super nice. but it was so fast you almost don't even get to think.

normally, i worry incessantly about stuff like this. all the 'what if''s and thinking things through too deeply. i didn't this time. not really, anyways. i just prayed that it was the right choice. that things would go smoothly. and this would be a health fix for all the issues that have been going on with her. i feel at peace with our decision to go through with it.

she's a little angel. oh, and we made it through the night without eating! she did, i mean. she's been waking to eat often in the night lately and i'm too tired to put up much of a fight. well, that's done. now that i know i'm strong enough to fight through, it's all over for that. no more night eating. i think that will help things out too. for both of us. don't judge. you do what you can to get them to sleep when you're so tired. whether you know it's for the best or not.

my love day.

2012-02-15T15:19:00.000-06:00

we had a 'love'ly day yesterday. our night wasn't the night i had planned, with daddy getting home later than expected. but we rallied and had a great time. homemade heart shaped pizzas were on the menu. these are the kids. so cute. little faces. (the picture just won't stay rotated. grr. sorry.)

such a love language of this boy. well, these boys. andre just couldn't hardly wait to wrestle his daddy when supper was over. i don't get it. but through all the grunts, and hits, and take downs, there's a manly understanding that 'this-is-love'. oh boys....

there's been an ongoing joke in our house since phillippe and i went on the first trip with his work 3 years ago. they stayed at my mom and dad's and one night for supper, she told them they were going to have rocks and socks for supper. they got the biggest kick out of that and it has been an almost daily joke around here. 'mom, what's for supper?'

'oh, i was thinking some rocks. and maybe some socks.'

'nooooooo!'

so when phillippe and i found chocolate rocks at walmart a few months ago, we knew we had to do something with them. we decided to give them to the kids for their valentines goodie. we put them in a target dollar bin bucket with a pair of $1 socks from there, too. rocks and socks. i love it! we gave them the bucket and they loved the socks, and just looked at the bag of rocks. phillippe said, 'what? i'm still hungry. i think i'll eat one of these.' the kids just looked at him like 'daddddd.' then, he ate it. they were in such shock that daddy just ate a rock. it was so funny. they were like "What!?!? DADDY!! YOU CAN"T EAT ROCKKKKKSSSSSS!!!!!!"

we're such jokesters.

after the kids went to bed, phillippe and i watched 'couples retreat'. and made out.

it was such a low key night and i love that. we such simple folk. we don't need no fancy celebrashon. we just happy bean round each othr.

***************************************************************************

thought i'd share some pictures from my phone. i've gotten into the habit of using my phone camera, so instead of leaving them on there to just sit, i've decided to just post them on her. if you follow other blogs, this is becoming a thing to do. 'instafriday'. 'photo dump'. i'm just doing it. not linking to them. but it is a good idea to put them somewhere. there's a thing you can do that will turn your iphone pics into magnets. what a great idea!!

we finally got rid of that darn entertainment center. hurray! this is the dresser we now use. i can't wait to get some paint on it this spring. we're going to store the 'devices' in the top drawers...make them into shelves....and the kids toys are in the other drawers. love the storage, and it doesn't take up near as much room. that coffee table is a sore spot for me. i love that it brings the kids together in the living room. but i hate that it just collects stuff. why is there toothpaste on there??

andre. clifford.

he wanted to snuggle on the couch and tell me all about animals. i think that's just adorable.

and thanks to my phone, i could enjoy the moment and capture it without getting up to get the camera. love that.

he came up with superhero bowling.

she's just cute.

editing.

making his valentines.

at the waterpark.

this girly has been up all night lately. i don't know why. i am just so tired. she is getting tubes put in tomorrow. i don't know if i mentioned that on here or not. but she is. it's feels so surreal. i'm not really worried about it. it's just a strange feeling. i hope it makes her sleep better. cuz i am not able to take many more sleepless nights.

batcave. it is always out. always being played with. i had no idea when he got this for christmas 2 years ago that it would be this big of a thing in his life. it's his go-to toy.

coffee while i wait for gabs.

isa....you stop that right now. crawling. pulling herself up to stuff.

my lunch date with gabs.

more of my lunch date with gabs.
andre's before and after hair shot. i just like him in longer hair. i can't help it. must be a thing with me. when i fell in love with phillippe he had long hair...like down to his mid cheek. {swoon. so dreamy.}
me, in my i-can't-see-up-close glasses.

i'm still in my pj's. it's time to go get gabi. do you think anyone will notice me in my red and tan striped pants?? prob not, right. i don't really feel like changing......

another great one!

2012-02-14T14:28:00.000-06:00

oooooo. i'm just gushing over the family time. i love some good ole fashion family time.

family time makes the world go 'round.

i wish it did. i think everyone would be a little better off if they just spent some real quality time with their loved ones. don't you? we had a great weekend, again. i'm getting really used to this. and i'm okay with that. bring it weekend-quality-family-time. bring it on.

a daddy and his girls. it's a love i understand, from their perspective. but he is just smitten with them.
future courters beware. this is one protective father.

this bug is movin and grovin and getting around like a pro. this house still isn't officially baby proof. i have my work cut out for me, cuz she is into everything. but she's cute. so i don't care.

this boy. i love building him up. the simple statement 'andre, you are so strong! look at you!' goes a long way with that kid.

her faces crack us up.

we went to a newish water-park in des moines at a hotel for my nephew's birthday. i won't share the part where they were super impatient and didn't want to wait for the food or cake before they went swimming. i'll just tell you about how much fun they had. it's a great place and we'll be going back for sure. wish i would have thought about going this winter...although it's been such a mild one. it would be fun to make a whole weekend out of it. kids did great! even isabela. who got her first dip in the pool.

oh and she claps when you say yeah. it's so fun and cute. this girl is getting too big too fast. pulling herself up. cruising. clapping. saying hi, dada, mama, more, and maybe no....we're not sure about that one. she's eating more 'human' food as i like to call it, less baby food. feeding herself. ahg. when does it stop seeming to go so fast? tell me it's soon. i need a pause button sometimes. where did my tiny baby go!?

big sister duties come so naturally to gabriela. it's such a joy to watch her tend to isablea. some day the dynamic will change from 'motherly' to 'friends'. that will be a sweet day.

andre is so funny. he is just so unsure of so many things. it takes him a while to warm up to many things. including the water. i think he had his fears covered with the arm floaties and the ring. in 1 foot of water.

and she is just not scared of anything. well, hardly anything.

do your kids watch tom and jerry? we just switched cable providers so now we have all the cool channels and one shows old tom and jerry shows. they can't get enough. they LOVE them.

yes, andre got a hair cut. i really liked it at first. now i don't. it's not long enough. he just looks more like 'him' with longer hair. we'll let it grow out a little before chopping it again. poor dude doesn't like it either. he thinks he looks like a kid in his class that has a mohawk.

at any given moment in our home, you will find my oldest child crafting. in some form. it's an outlet for her. and i'll continue to support her. it's such a simple way to express yourself. i love that she is just crazy about it.

well. this post was supposed to go out yesterday and i had some post about love ready for today. i have 3 ready to go out, but can't seem to get them finished. grumble. anywho. like it really matters when they get posted, as long as they do.

our valentines day plans are simple. heart shaped homemade pizzas, homemade chocolate covered strawberries, these cupcakes(that are rockin, by the way), and some good old fashion snuggles. that's it. but it's just enough to be special without going nuts-o. i like that my kids don't need a ton of fanciness to make something feel special. a little effort and attention is all they need. i got to have lunch with gabs at school today. that was great. she was super excited. i love valentines day for school kids. what a fun day. to feel so 'liked' by your classmates. at least at this age. school parties were always the highlight for me. so much fun!

so happy love day to all you out there who read this. i hope you are blessed with an abundance of that gushy feeling today and everyday.

diet update. again.

2012-02-08T20:37:00.000-06:00

i know you're not all sitting around wondering how i'm doing with my diet, but i need to keep myself accountable here. for me.

i'm down a total of 10 pounds now. i dropped the 6 pounds quickly, and the last 4 have slowly come off over the last 3 weeks. i'm 3 pounds from my goal, but it's hard to not want to keep going and going. i'm a whole 20 pounds heavier than i was when i got married. ! that's such a large number to me. but like my dad told me, "you did have 3 kids, too, ya know." true, dad. thanks for making me feel better about it. (that wasn't sarcastic. it really did make me feel better.)

i haven't started exercising yet. that is to come. soon. starting in march. it will be nice to get that going. but right now, i just don't want to.

i start my day with 2 pieces of whole grain toast with a very tiny layer of peanut butter. i don't like peanut butter really. i love almond butter. have you ever had that stuff?

so good. and so good for you. and so expensive. so, to get my morning protein, i eat the pb. maybe i'll splurge someday and get the good stuff. i usually cut up a couple of strawberries and put that on top of the toast. i just have to have carbs in the morning. have to. i got this idea from pinterest. not too fancy, but i would have never thought to do it before.

i have a special k snack somewhere in the morning. you know the special k snacks....yum.

i have a salad for lunch with a morning star farm chick patty. being a vegetarian, i have to get that protein from somewhere. i'm so glad these products are out there for people like me.

snack in the afternoon is string cheese or special k snack.

supper is either a salad or veggies and something. that's a little harder for me, cuz i want to eat what everyone else is eating. but i make due with what i'm allowed to have. the weekends have been a little more come-what-may. i eat a few snacks, but don't over do it.

basically, i've just cut out almost all sugar, a lot of carbs, and fat. i'm doing pretty good. i'm surprising myself with how disciplined i've been. i'm a snacker by nature, so this is a challenge for me. i've chewed so much gum my tmj has flared up again. another thing is that i hate water. so that's hard for me, too. but it's nice to see the number on the scale continue to go down. cuz no matter how much that isn't supposed to matter----it does a lot to me.

oh, and i do have a skinny cow ice cream sandie at night. i do it for the fiber see? it even has it listed on the box. in color. that's gotta mean something.

i hate the name of those delicious treats. i don't know if it's supposed to be an insult or encouraging. but i don't care. i eat them. one a night. it's my treat. and you can't take that away from me. ever.

call me a cow and skinny both at the same time. i'll only hear skinny and keep on eating.

so there. that's my diet update. what i miss the most isn't what i thought it would be. yes, i miss snacking on candy, and cookies, and stuff. but i don't miss mt dew. (gasp!) i thought it would be killer. but seriously helps having another go to drink during the day. thank you, mellow yellow zero. {i would be there spokes person tomorrow if they'd ask me. just sayin...} what i really miss is the comfort food. hearty, carb-y, make-you-so-full-you-want-to-sleep comfort food. that's what i miss the most. ya learn something new about yourself every day.....

phone home

2012-02-07T12:43:00.000-06:00

and now, some iphone photos for your viewing pleasure.

or just some iphone photos...

ain't that the truth.

this kid loves books. information type books. non-fiction books. this is an encyclopedia on super heroes. he just is so into the facts. okay, so i know that the super hero books are not real, but you get what i'm saying. if it seems factual, or actually is, he is all over it.

we got ourselves a flat tire a week ago. it rocked being 4 blocks from home on a cold windy day with the ground covered in slush with no way to get home.

since we were going to papa's house anyways, he just came and got us. sometimes the perks of living in the same town as your parents are just so simple to appreciate.

the kids are sad about the tire...not going to papa's.

cool lego tower, huh?

planets. he loves the planets.
i think he'll be a scientist someday.

my husband has li-tra-lee saved my diet with his introduction of mellow yellow zero. the day it came into my life, well...that was a good day.

waiting to pick gabs up from school. he's my buddy.

i love having a boy and a girl.

bath time has gotten pretty fun around here.

gabs and i made a kitchen out of empty boxes in our pantry.
she wants to make everyroom for the house.
we'll see if that happens, but it was really fun to make.

he says he feels so handsome in his tie. (smile)

our local coffee shop sees us each and every sunday before church.

sharing a drink at the mall.
they aren't to that "gross, she/he has boy/girl germs!" stage yet.

she just got over an ear infection. another ear infection. we have an appointment with the ent today to get some things figured out. poor baby.

a trip to the science center was a good day out. gabs got to go with us with her early out that day! love that she was there.

this is the girl that used to hate the car. now, it's pretty much a sure thing i'll see this in my mirror. sweet little bug.

(hubba hubba)
love dates with this man.

her new face. i can't get enough of that wrinkly little nose.
she is a whole package of sweet stuff.

our snowman is quite a bit smaller than 3 days ago. but we love him all the same.

thanks to my friend laurie, isa sports these cute puppies during these cold days. she doesn't even know who stinking cute she is with them on. but everyone else does.

the weekend

2012-02-06T13:23:00.000-06:00

it's a bitter sweet thing when a great weekend ends. i'm so full of joy from what was left behind, but so sad that it's over.

i started my saturday with a refreshing morning at our church listening to a great speaker talk about something very near and dear to my heart. anxiety. yuck. i hate that word. she did such a great job diving right into the heart of it all and had so much insight into a topic that is something i deal with daily. i wish i had more of a "whatever comes, i'll deal with it. God will guide it all anyway." attitude. i'm working on it...

i had a 3 1/2 hour long photo shoot saturday night for an indian 1st birthday party. wow. big time blow out, fit with a 3 tier birthday cake. i'll post some pics when i'm done editing....all 1100 of them. you guys, she was beyond photo crazy, but it was such a beautiful celebration.

sunday, i had another date with my wonderful husband. it was actually a continuation of our first date last weekend. with the baby not being able to go that long without eating, and not taking a bottle, we couldn't do dinner and a movie all in the same stretch. so we broke it up into two days, and had such a great time watching 'the grey'. good movie. great time. i truly love spending time with my husband more than any other person on the planet. he's my favorite person. and i will always be so grateful for his friendship inside our marriage.

superbowl party with some friends. it only lasted an hour for us. we had to get those kiddos home so we could get them to bed. but ah well. i couldn't care less about the superbowl anyways....it was just nice to see my friends.

here's a few photos from our weekend.

andre, man. you crack me up. he's just so funny with his faces sometimes. i don't even get it. but i love him nonetheless.

being that our house is so old, we have this big heater vent on our kitchen floor. it's a favorite spot in the house during the winter.

oh, bug. you are so funny. crinkly nose and all. she loves her some pans....even the tin ones.

daddy took the kids out to play on saturday during our beautiful snow fall. oh man, i was just so glad to see some white on the ground. i'm a girl that needs all the seasons this iowa land has to offer. i enjoy winter. so sue me.

the kids, as you can see, had the most fun in this fluffy wet stuff. i got out there for about 3 minutes to capture the moment...while isabela cried from inside the house. that girl and her mommy...i tell ya what.

these are moments i will enjoy looking back on in the years to come. i love that my children will be able to see their life in photos.

and like all other weekends that have come and gone, this one had to end. but it sure does start you week off right when the weekend is well spent. i can take those special memories and moments with me the next 5 days, until our next weekend is here. my goal for this week is simple.

::to live in the moment::

::enjoy what/who is right in front of me::

i hope you all had a great weekend to get you through your week. it's like riding on the coat tails of joy.

a refresher

2012-02-04T15:16:00.000-06:00

so, God does work in pretty funny ways sometimes.

this morning, my church had a women's brunch with a speaker who spoke about anxiety. and how to deal with it. and where it comes from. and what to do about it.

funny. cuz i had just posted about this sort of thing on here. i felt like the Lord was saying "hey you. do you hear this? cuz i'm talking to you. quit worrying about all that junk. i'm in charge. got it? ME."

so, there. isn't that funny? just when i feel like i'm not being heard.......

the art of contentment

2012-02-03T07:35:00.001-06:00

i think it's our nature to be always looking for the next best thing. to desire more than we have. to want the newest, the great thing our neighbor has. 'the grass is always greener' phenomenon. it's one of those human traits that we need to make a conscious effort to ignore. it just doesn't come naturally.

i've been unsettled lately in my feeling of wanting more. to not be content in what i've been given. i dream of having the money to do what i really want to do with my home. to go buy this cute outfit. or that great pair of shoes. or staying up on all the adorable clothes for my kids. or this oh-so-perfect fabric for my new curtains. i want that chair! i probably spend...well, wayyyyy too much time thinking about these things. it's so hard to put that out of my mind. it's especially hard with all of these great ideas literally under my fingertips. with pinterest, and blogs, and online catalogs, it's just that much easier to grow my wish list and what i think my heart desires.

sometimes, it's so hard to walk away from those thoughts. i am in this house all day every day and the 'wants' and lists i have and the projects i want to do are smack in my face all the time. it does me good to get out and come back home with a fresh mindset. but if i'm being perfectly honest, it all comes back within minutes of me being here. i really struggle with contentment.

and the thing is, i am so blessed. blessed to even have a home that i own. so many clothes to dress myself and my children. enough money to be able to buy food for my family. we never go without. without what is needed.

so why is there this annoying voice that is always telling me that i don't have enough? that i should have more. that wanting more is just wanting what i deserve. there is this whisper that says, 'you've lived in this house for 7 years without doing what you want...it's about time you get to do those things.' 'you've shopped at goodwill and garage sales for years....go buy something full price {or even on sale} and don't feel guilty.' i hate that voice.

the worst part of this is that it's passing down to my children without me being fully aware. they don't hear my thoughts. i try to display a good, grateful spirit. but i hear them say all the time, 'i have nothing to play with. i'm bored. there's nothing to do.' WHAT? NOTHING TO DO?!?!?!?!?!?!? i could just scream when i hear those words come out of there mouths. nothing to do? are you kidding me? but it's so telling of the way i've been feeling. and without me knowing, i'm obviously not doing the job i think i am in teaching my kids differently. i want for better. i want for a change.

my children, along with myself and my husband, are so privileged. we're so privileged and we don't even get it. i'm actually annoyed at the massive amount of 'stuff' i've collected from the boxes and closets around my house to put in my garage sale. annoyed that i have this much crap to walk around and look at. i'm such a spoiled little brat.

but....really....aren't we all?

no, i'm not calling you a brat. i'm just saying that this is totally a cultural thing. a worldly thing. i want to break free from the bondage i feel from all my 'stuff', and focus on things that are of a more important nature. i often feel like i can't breathe from all the life-collected-things i've surrounded myself with. how much of it is truly important to me. that is the question i've been asking every time i look at something. is this worth taking up my visual space. yes? then keep it. no? then for goodness sake, get rid of it.

i don't want to have an ungrateful spirit. i don't. i don't want to feel weighted down by my stuff and my desire for more stuff. i love window shopping at other people's blogs. or scrolling the pages of pinterest to find 'just the right piece for that spot in my house that i probably won't ever get or make, but really like it anyway' stuff. i love being inspired by creative minds out there in the world. BUT....if all it does is make me want or feel i need more--then should i be ~~spending~~ wasting my time doing it? probably not. i don't mean to say that doing these things are wrong or a waste of time. i'm just saying, i need to be more purposeful in doing them, and to not allow myself to fall in that 'boo hoo. i want that.' mode.

i am always saying how truly blessed i am. and that is the undeniable truth. but i'm facing a hard truth right now that i don't live as if i'm truly blessed. i live bogged down by things around me and the feeling that it all isn't good enough. it all doesn't satisfy my needs. as if. i'm so arrogant. and i'm teaching these behaviors to my children. i even used make them whatever else they wanted to eat outside of what i made for supper. i don't do that anymore. you get what you get and you don't get upset. but isn't that just what i was doing with what god has provided for me? 'sorry lord. i know you gave me this house and all, but can you just put another one in our path....and now. i'm really not into this one anymore.' geesh.

it's hard to pray for humbleness. but i pray that for myself. i pray to have a grateful spirit and that i pass that along to my children. because i would just be so sad for them if they grew up to feel entitled. it's embarrassing to say that i feel that way. entitled to have more or better. i need far less than i have. and by that means, i have far more than i need or deserve. by definition, i live a very modest lifestyle. and i was raised in a very modest home. it's not that i desire to live a rich, luxurious existence. but my issues with wanting more....wanting better...are getting in the way of my daily life. i find myself completely distracted by the fact that i'm so irritated that i can't get my living room arranged better. or that i hate the wall color. or that i want to move the photo wall. or that i'm sick of looking at the coat rack. or that i want this table, and that dresser, and that desk to be painted. or that i want, i want, i want. i'm filling my mind with these things rather than living in the moment with the people i surround myself with. i'm struggling.

but in the grand scheme of things, it's less than minor. i'm being a petty selfish person that needs a change. a change from within my own heart. i need to dive deeper into the graces and get my heart and mind back to center. to become once again connected with that which is truly important. to make all of these other things just fun 'incing on the cake' sort of things. not the actual cake itself. okay, that's a cheap metaphor, but you get what i'm saying. i can still do all the fun decorating stuff, and fun crafty stuff, and gather ideas i find that inspire me. but to not give those things more importance in my life than they deserve.

contentment.

gratefulness.

humbleness.

those are the current prayers for myself. and to just be more down right pleased with what i have. keeping up with the jones's is just way too hard.

does anyone else ever feel this way? maybe it's just this heart of mine that struggles with these sort of things.....

i'll say it again. outside in janrary without coats!

2012-01-31T11:12:00.000-06:00

phillippe called me yesterday to tell me how beautiful it was outside.

and it was.
just perfect.

i actually had to convince the boy to go on a walk with me.
'i just want to say inside. maybe later, kay?'

you can see i honored his request and we just stayed inside, in our jamies.

and you can also see that he didn't have a bit of fun, either.

isa probably could have just laid on the ground. feet in the open air. kicking and playing.
but she is feeling pretty rotten.
so she got some bundled up stroller time.
and loved it.

it's funny how burning a little built up energy can really do a little boy and his mommy some good.

and no matter what, there will always be dirt on the face after you've had a good time. always.

resolute that

2012-01-30T09:22:00.000-06:00

i have some things to catch up on here on ye ole blog. but i'll get to that.
i went on a date with my husband. one of my new years resolutions was to go on more dates. so that felt nice to do. we went out to lunch at granite city while his parents watched the kids. it almost didn't happen. we fought last night. but that would have been a shame to loose this chance to spend some quality time together. so we called a truce, and went.

i'm so glad we did. few things rank right up there with spending one on one time with my husband. we'll have been married 10 years this year. we've been together for 14. yowzers. that's a long time. since he was 19 and i was 18. just turned 18. you know what's cool? we are still great friends. that's so special. to both of us.

i'm so lucky i've married someone i actually enjoy spending time with. in a crowd. all alone. on a grocery store adventure. with our children. with our families. he's such a comfort to me. and i just love that.

i flirted with him in the lobby with the other 50 people waiting to get their seat. he was a little embarrassed, but he totally loved it. we flirt all the time. isn't it funny that i sometimes still get butterflies when i know we are going out on a date? he's the one person in the world i want to 'impress'. look good for. he loves my hair curly. so i wore my hair curly.

i have been saving my tummy for this meal for 2 weeks. i've been so good on my diet. {i'm down another 2 pounds!!} that grilled portobello burger didn't stand a chance next to my growling stomach.

and that piece of pineapple upside down cheese cake from the cheesecake factory was well worth the 'i haven't had sugar in 2 weeks cuz i'm on a diet and really want some junk food' wait. thanks for making that happen hubster.

then we took pictures of each other. which he thought was dorky. but i wanted to remember what we looked like. so another 10 years from now, we can look back and say, "oh, look how young we look. we were soooooooooooo in love."

at least that's what i'll say.

that's my husband, ya'll. and i just plain and simple love him.

and i know he loves me.
even if i make him feel silly by taking pictures of him in the middle of a restaurant while people stare at us like 'wha?'.

while we waited for our table, we sat at the bar.
it was so nice to just talk to him with out interruptions. it's crazy how you forget how to do that. i didn't have to say 'just a sec' to anyone.

we vow to do that more this year. go out. just for lunch or a movie or coffee. something without distraction. what a connection that is.

then we went to walmart. and lost him in the techy aisle. but that's how much i love him. i'll let him do that. and i just stand there and not complain. i'm so supportive like that. that's a lie. i was like "phillippe. hurry up. you're taking all our time up. we're gonna be late to your mom's. let's go. seriously dude. can't we do this later. ......

but he loves me. so he just let me complain. then we held hands on the way out of the store. cuz we are in love.

it's already a thing

2012-01-24T16:09:00.000-06:00

i thought i had coined the term 'choffee'. i am wrong. i think. maybe they got the idea from me...who knows. but this product actually exists. i just found it searching a healthy food blog. this is actually 100% pure brewed chocolate. a tad different than my mix of coffee and hot chocolate. who knew?

Diet Update

2012-01-24T13:17:00.000-06:00

i've officially made it through my first week 'on a diet'. i don't like saying 'i'm on a diet'. but that's what it is. a diet. i am a lover of junk food. that's the hardest part of eating right for me. not snacking on that crap. pop. candy. cookies. ice cream. oh my goodness. my mouth just watered.

so far, i'm down 6 pounds and am fitting into a couple pair of jeans i couldn't fit into since before i had isabela. that's a good feeling. i guess that's worth not snacking. i guess.

i still haven't started my workout yet. i get so mad at myself. i don't feel like it. then the day is over and i think 'if i would have just started today, i'd have already out of the way.' and then the week was over and i said to myself 'if i would have just started already, i would have a whole week out of the way. grr.' so it's just a get-off-my-butt-and-do-it-already kind of thing. but i'm lazy. and tired. and don't want to do it yet.

wow. that's a great attitude, huh?

so, that's where i'm at so far. i need to keep myself accountable on here. i almost caved today and bought the devils juice. you've heard of mt dew, haven't you? it's this great drink that i'm just in love with. it has to be like the worst thing to drink ever, but i don't care. if drinking md is wrong, i don't want to be right.

hi. i'm amanda. i'm addicted to mt dew.

but i've been clean since last sunday. {clap clap clap} thank you.

i'm gonna keep doing what i'm doing for a while. no sugar. not many carbs. eating tons of veggies. and protein. that's the trick. it's not all about the calories. NO SUGAR. LOW LOW CARBS. EAT PROTEIN. that's a good recipe for success. i learned that from mr farrells. my hubs. am i right, phillippe? so far, it's working. i only weigh myself on monday and friday. that way i see a bigger result and i'm not obsessing about the number,. cuz that isn't the most important part. well...it's not supposed to be.

sadness

2012-01-20T14:26:00.000-06:00

i find myself with heavy heart this friday. looking around at all i hold dear and just thanking the good lord for those i love.

2 days ago, 2 high school class mates of mine lost their child to a long struggle with cancer. he was 5. they have an interesting story. one you never would have thought would end this way. i actually never could have pictured the two of them together. but they ended up a perfect match. the funny thing about facebook is that you feel like you are closer to people than you actually are. ya know? like, you haven't seen them in so many years (i think the last time i saw them, gabriela was just a baby), yet, i feel like i just saw them yesterday. you keep up with their lives, daily activities, joys, and sorrows. i feel, in a way, as if i have no right to morn for their loss. i wasn't friends with them, after all. and yet, knowing i used to know them--knowing all they have gone through---i feel a since of 'brotherhood' that pulls me directly to them in this time. this horrible awful time they are going through. i want nothing more than to take them in my arms and cry. they have another child, as well. i'm not sure how much older he is, but him too. i want to hug him, too.

my biggest worry today was how can i get isabela to sleep and stay asleep? carseat rocking it is. that's it. my biggest worry. that and finances. i've been annoyed with my son because he wants to play with me, yet again. the nerve. and argued with my daughter this morning before school because she wouldn't 'just get dressed already'. i cussed under my breath when i tripped on another stupid toy that is just lying around because i live in a house with no storage. and yet? every.single.thing. i've complained about are all some of the biggest joys in my life. i have no real struggles. THANK YOU GOD. my children are all coming out of the flu. a nasty flu bug that knocked them out cold. that's it. the flu. i'm so lucky to have all of my kids, my husband, my house with too many toys. how vain of me to want more than is provided for me.

it's ironic that the one person i put my utmost trust and faith in is the one person that angers me the most. that i can't grasp sometimes. that i want to put under a micro scope and dissect decisions that just make me so baffled. why, lord, would you put a child on this earth, into a family, only to make him suffer-along with his family- only to, then again, take him back? why?! it makes me mad. and yet at the same time gives me this weird sense of calm. knowing little eli is up there right now. on his lap. just feeling the joy of a painless existence. but then angry again when i think of his parents. the great loss they feel and the pain in their hearts. a pain i know nothing about. i feel i would crumble without hope of every rising again. my friend once said "it's unimaginable, yes. but you would get back on your feet. you would be *fine*." she was right. but as a human, a very emotional human, i can't imagine what that 'getting back up' would feel like. each step would hurt.

i have a chip in my personality that turns me away from hurt. i don't like to feel hurt or pain or tears. i turn the radio when a sad song comes on. i don't watch sad movies. i don't read sad books. i let myself become convicted at church during a video about sex trafficking, and then i turn if off immediately afterwards. i think it's because once i'm in, i'm all in. it consumes me in a way that is uncomfortable. so i don't allow that to happen. further more, i don't allow god to allow it to happen. i slam that door closed. i hate that about myself. but then there come these moments {like this} that my heart is so wrapped up in it that no matter what my personality flaw is, it stays with me. all day and all night. each time i look at my children or my husband, i thank god for not only allowing me to be in their family and have gotten to know them so well, but for keeping them with me. i also pray that with each day i'm allowed to be with them, that i will make it count.

i hate the phrase "live like you were dying". i think too many people just use that as an excuse to do stupid things and get away with it. but there really is something to that, if you really think about it. mostly i think with people. your relationships. when you are with someone be with them. because you never know what tomorrow will bring. invest the time you have with people like you were investing your money. you wouldn't take all your savings outside on a windy day and let them blow around haphazardly in the wind. so don't let your time with people you love {or anyone} be haphazardly spent.

i'm saying this to myself first. i need to better this part of my daily life.

all of that being said, i do know that, although god has answers to some questions only in heaven, he does allow his faith and love to get us through this life with sadness. that he isn't a mean god that took their son to just make them hurt. whatever his purpose behind this young boys life, it will come to be known. if not by his family or friends, it will with someone they may never know. my mommy heart hurts this day. i can't even imagine what is going on in their hearts and minds. but i do know one thing. because of their great faith in god, they will, someday, come out on top. and i also know that there are more prayers being said for eli and his family than i'll ever know.

so, tonight, i will hug my kids a little longer and a little harder. i will kiss my husband a little longer. because i am so blessed to live under this cluttered roof with all of them.

fly away little flu

2012-01-18T12:54:00.000-06:00

well, she did get it. really bad. she was up all night throwing up a monday night. and was like this all day yesterday and today. sleeping on the couch.

it breaks my heart in two. it's strange to see your children so out of it. such a helpless feeling.

i've been using this a lot the last few days.
like, A LOT.

and this.

a lot of laundry to clean up all the 'stuff' that missed the potty.

putting up with this face. a lot. 'mommy, i want lunch! all i want is toast with butter and jam."
then he won't eat said toast with butter and jam. tell ya what, i could jam that toast right......
grumble.

i've realized that i'm not a fan of perfumed soap. when you are using it all day long, it kind of becomes annoying to smell. i love this kind, too. so that's a bummer.

cleaned our toothbrushes. cuz that seems sensible. and something a good mom would do.

i've recently discovered these goodies hiding in our kitchen. this was not a good week to start my diet.
i am seriously addicted to snacking.
BUT ~~not so~~ proudly withheld.

but enjoyed my lunch of healthy stuff.

i pray this buglet doesn't get sick. pray. her poor body just couldn't take it.

this hurts to show you this. it's the cold hard truth of my state this week. hair up, no makeup, dark circles around my eyes. next week, i'll beautify. but for now, i'm not lifting a finger in that direction.

cuz i just don't care.

he's 4

2012-01-16T10:46:00.000-06:00

well. it's happened again. my son has turned another year older. ouch. my heart pains with each passing one. boy am i ever gonna be a wreck with they turn {gulp}...double digits...

mom fail: i didn't put up one decoration in the house for him. notta one. gabriela was good to remind me of that. and of the fact that she got a birthday week, and why didn't andre, and where was all his decorations, and what happened to his birthday week.

okay gabs. i got it. i stink.

but the boy is just so low maintenance. i'm not even sure if he would have noticed the decor.

we went to the botanical center on his birthday eve. just a little dome with plants. but i called it a jungle and made it more exciting.

our local christian radio station was hosting a get-in-free night. so that's cool. but it's like an hour from our house and we only stayed about 30 minutes, so... but the kids had fun. and it was a good way to bring in his special day. sans decorations.

this is his new pose of choice. for real. i'm sure it's just a phase, but it's kinda cute.
it's like "the world is wonderful! i love everyone and everything! i love smiling! smiling's my favorite!"

it was kind of cool. all the trees had lights and it was kind of pretty.

and then i ruined it.
grr. it's so frustrating looking at photos of myself lately. i'm starting my dreaded diet today. barf.

then comes the bday breakfast. i asked what he wanted. he said cinnamon rolls. so i delivered. my non-homemade gooey goodness. i ate 3. which is why i've started my diet today.

we let gabriela stay home from school on friday. yeah, yeah. judge if you will. but i don't care. he needed a buddy. we headed to backyard adventures for a few hours.

isabela is so purposeful NOT to play with toys. she'll move and scoot across a room to get a hold of something she isn't supposed to have. boy, do i have my work cut out for me with baby proofing this house...

if you follow me on thee instagram, you've seen these. but since like only 4 of you do, i'm sharing anyways.

every year, i make a cake. or cupcakes. and then every year, we have a ton left over that just sit and go bad. or i end up eating them all and hence, the diet?

so this year, i went to a local bakery and picked up ONE cupcake for each of us.

it worked out so well. no left overs, no baking.

we went to target to pick up a topper for his cake (for his party the next day) and since i had to feed the littlest little, i let them have a snack. you would have thought i told them they just won a shopping spree. i love that my kids are {sometimes} so easy to please.

next stop was the west des moines library. the best time they had all day. and we were rushed cuz isa had a doctors appointment. grr. i regret not getting there sooner.

that is my boy. he's a mix of loud, and shy, and smart, and funny, and nervous, and excitement, and pickiness, and sweetness, and kindness, and stinkerness. if i tried to love him more, i'd fail.

the day after his bday, we had a family party at incredible pizza. a buffet and arcade place. it's a lot of fun and we were so lucky that all the family, minus one uncle, could be there. we even had a drop in guest...my aunt and uncle. it was so nice of them to make an appearance. thanks, guys!

i'm not sure who has more fun. the kids. or my husband.

such a show off. look at that face. "psh. this is nothing."

they had a hoola hoop contest. that girl can hoola. seriously.

both kids got airbrushed.

andre had an ice cream cake with super heros on top. he is nuts for super heros right now. i love it.

mom and dad did this dance game thing. sometimes, they shock me.

sometimes, we are so cool.

no. i'm not kidding.

papa and andre raced uncle matt and gabi. good times. good times.

andre wanted his mommy to help him race. pretty soon, it will be "mom? can you, like, go to the other side of the room? please."

i prefer this.

such troopers. the hung out til the very end. i'm talking all 7 hours. we were at incredible pizza for nearly 7 hours. 7! wow. that was a loooooooonnnnnggggg day.

i'll leave you with a photo of the chubs. i can call her that now. cuz she doesn't know. and look at that. yummy. i love all that sweetness.

to round out our great weekend, andre spent all night saturday and all morning sunday throwing up and had the lower tummy issues, too. fever. laid on the couch. not eating. he got up and got sick again last night. all over his bed. ew. now gabi has been crying all day, so i'm wondering if it's made it's way to her. ? i'm just trying to keep it away from the bug.

happy monday to you. i get gabi home today that already makes it a good day here.

today.

2012-01-10T16:53:00.000-06:00

today, i got to eat lunch with my oldest at school.

it was so nice to see her during the day. i miss her. way too much when she's gone.

i think she was nervous that i was there. but she was happy i came.

i was too. they had tacos. my favorite food in the whole world. my favorite food with my favorite 6 year old.

not bad.

and can i just say 'what's up with this weather? eh?' crazy pants.
it's wild. and while i'm not complaining about it, {i wouldn't dare with the winter's we've had} it's gonna hurt when that real iowa winter starts rolling in. i'm a lover of snow and cold and cute winter clothes. but i have to say, i am really loving this weather. dare i even say i prefer it to the regular for this time of year? nah. i will bask in it while it's here and enjoy it when the news person says 'and school is closed today for the adm school district...' . cuz then she'll get to stay home. and i like when that happens.

gettin it resolved

2012-01-08T09:34:00.000-06:00

do you resolute?

make a resolution list each year?

i used to. then i didn't. well, i guess i kind of did in my head. but never outloud. or never on a list. i felt like if i didn't do them then it was just like everyone else. and i felt foolish. i get annoyed when people put really strange and 'trying to be unique' things on their list.

or things that are really clique. we all want to eat better, look better, and make more money. is that really a 'new years resolution'? or just a reminder of what we want in life.

i think to create a list is to put in the time to think about what your life is like, and how you want it to be different. check that. what you are willing to do to make it different.

i have used this blog in the past to express my frustration with things in my life. but, honestly, i haven't done much to get the process moving from frustration to satisfaction. it's my own fault.

this year, as i was listening to all the resolutions out there. lose weight. travel more. read more. eat healthier. i got to thinking of my own list. and i decided to go ahead and make one. these are things i talk to phillippe about daily/weekly. things that aren't just my 'new years resolutions' but things i need to be different in my life. some things i won't be able to do on my own. some things will require a specific prayer to be obedient enough to follow through. some will need physical assistance from my hubs. i hope that these things don't just become items on a list. i hope that they become life changes. changes in my heart, environment, and relationships.

a true resolution list isn't cheesy. not if you mean them. and i think the simpler, the better. it feels more honest.

1. to go on more dates with my husband. one a month would be nice. sometimes, i just miss 'us'.

2. to be more thoughtful of the time i'm spending with my children. and more thoughtful of the conversations i'm having with them.

3. to make our house a home. a home we love to be in. and do it on the cheap.

4. to be more organized. i mean it. in every area of my life. or.ga.nized to the max.

5. to spend more time learning about and focusing on God's desire for my life. alone. and with my husband.

6. to rid myself of things in my life that are just taking up space. physically, mentally, and emotionally. i want all clutter gone. its suffocating me.

and that's it.

sounds like i'm going for a whole life make-over or something. maybe i am. not in the sense that i don't like my life, or i need something else. but more that i keep telling myself to change things that need to be fixed and that's as far as i get. i get too comfortable in the way things are. it's like this. 2 years ago, my son broke our front window. cracked the glass. our house is pushing 100 years old, so it's not like i can call the window man. we took it out of the frame. and put it in our entryway, on the bench. and that's as far we got. i don't even notice it anymore. people will say, 'oh, did your window break?' and i'm looking around like, 'what?! where?!' that's how things have gotten. i don't want it like that anymore. i want to purge. of stuff. and spend the time i would be using to pick it up, sort it, reorganize it on my family. that's what i really want. no more wasted time.

so. i guess that sounds easy. at least it does on paper. but i do think i've gotten to the point where i just can't accept it to remain the same. so, maybe i will complete a resolution list after all. time will tell.

oh, and to add to that list, i want to be back at my prepregnat weight. i want my old clothes to fit. but i'm not adding that to the list....the official list, i mean. i HATE working out and watching what i eat. lllooooaaaatttthhhh it. but i need to do it. if for no other reason, we're going on a beachy trip this april and i don't have room in my carry-on for flab. so that's gonna stink to get that going. but it will get done. it's just like doing the dishes. a labor of love.

a chrismadee new years

2012-01-06T17:42:00.000-06:00

for many years of my life, i have spent new years weekend, or new years itself, at my gma butlers. she lives in illinois. at the farm. on any given day, i would choose to be there with my family than any other place on earth. with my family. not just there, but there with them.

this year was a typical year. gma working hard to provide a few gifts for each person. all 51 of them. she's gonna be 90 in april. wha?!! man, i pray i have her 'get up and go' when i'm her age. heck, i'd take a little of that today.

we left home on saturday morning, drove for about 7 hours....well, it ended up being that long with the stops along the way, and left her house sunday night at 7. i won't go into it but isa did not do well, i repeat did NOT do well on the way home. at all. i was ready to just stop at a motel{not hotel...MOtel} and deal with it the next day. our time there is always too short. this time being no different. i just don't like leaving.

we had a great time. and we can't wait to go back.

papa and isa-bug

andre was playing ninja with papa. he got pretty bossy. telling papa just what to say and how to say it. he took it like a man and ~~happily~~ obliged.

my mom picked up a new years eve party kit for kids. they had their own celebration at about 8:00. it was cute.

i tell ya...ain't nothing sweeter.

dad and phillippe played cribbage. like two old men. grams. she tired hard to stay awake.

dad and i and meghan played banana grams. i loved that game. and would have loved it more if someone hadn't been up all night. who, you ask?

why, who else? this little rang in the new year with the grownups.

i love memories like this. love them.

i miss my gpa. he would be sitting right next to her. covered in gifts. saying things like "well. how come we have to much stuff? we don't need this much stuff." all the while ripping into the packages. i miss him.

oh man. my gma used to get me and my cousins matching outfits. she's still doing it. i wish i would have gotten a picture. 4 girls running around in this cute getup. aw, gma.

the hit of each christmas is the grab bag. or grab clothes basket. guy gifts in one. girl gifts in the other. and it's a free for all. you get 2 things. it is the most fun. we all look forward to it each year.

and the bug is standing up to stuff now. that girl. she needs to quit growing up so fast.

at the park. in december. without coats.

2012-01-05T09:48:00.000-06:00

the date: december 29, 2011.

the location: the yellow park.

the time: 2:00 pm.

the mission: to have fun at the park and not wear any coats.

mission completion.

could it be? a christmas recap?

2012-01-03T15:20:00.000-06:00

my goal of getting this down before the new year was squashed. it's ok. it's here now. so my kids can look back and see that indeed they did have a christmas in the year twenty eleven.

without further ado, ladies and gentlemen(man), our christmas celebrations of 2011...

gabriela was home last friday. they get one week and 2 days off of school. bummer that it's not longer. but we went out to lunch with daddy to a local cafe. moods were on edge. with everyone. except isa. she was just fine. gabi needed a little extra snuggle from daddy.

and i was ready to leave andre there.
i'm not kidding.
that dude was about to get in a ketchup war with me. and i was about to win.
to be honest, we should have just stayed home, but you know when you plan a special thing for your kids and you do it just cuz you had a special plan for your kids? that's what friday was. a plan carried out simply because i had a plan i wanted carried out.

christmas eve day we went to mom and dads for my kinney side christmas. as always she had a few things up her sleeve for the kids to do while they waiting for things to start. andre could live in his new 'suit'. i'm certain of it.

i think it's a 'thing' that you have soup and snacky food on christmas. isn't it?
it's only 10 in the morning, but i could eat that food right now.
i could lit-ra-lee live off snack foods. and i'm for real about that.

aunt dianna and uncle greg.
they're just like an old married couple.
oh, wait.....

my uncle greg, as mentioned above, used to carve. like, from wood. he's really amazing at it. this is a santa, that i always thought he made for me. there's one for each my brother and sister and they are in size order from large to small. my mom claims they aren't for us. just to represent us. i beg to differ. and i almost hid it in my purse to take home. but i didn't. next year i will, though. I WANT MY SANTA.

there's lots of hanging out. which i love.
that's my uncle brad.
he makes great pear butter.

oh isa. your papa loves you.
so does your uncle greg.

i have more pictures with my cousins this year than ever before.
what gives with that?
don't know. but i'm glad i do. this crazy bunch....oh my.

probs my fav-o-rite photo of the day.

she was a normal baby. only cared about the wrapping paper. or bow. or tape. or box. she's sweet.

after a day of celebrating of with my family, we headed over to phillippes to rock the christmas eve night away.

this is andre. my son. he has perfected the sad puppy face. he is very sensitive and gets his feelings hurt very easily. he's shy about it. and sometimes doesn't handle it well. but i'm his mommy. and i love him . and his temper. he's a taborga. they all have one.

mary and her baby jesus.
there is no one out there who's a bigger dork than i. and i don't care. at least i have fun. pretending to be mary with my invisible baby. gabriela and andre thought it funny.

isa did not.
party pooper.

she just wanted another bow.

cutest santa i ever did see.

oh i love it
.

see. reaching right past the toy to grab the paper. such a funny girly.

for about a half an hour, everyone looked like this.

it's been phillippe and i's tradition to watch 'it's a wonderful life' christmas eve and wrap presents. this year, i was finished with my wrapping, so we watched it together. and i'll just pretend i made it all the way through the 8 hour movie and didn't fall asleep before the best parts even started.

after church on christmas day, which we missed...opps, we went over to mom and dad's.

gabriela has seen the 'snap and look over here' move one too many times. cracks me up. and andre? i love ya, buddy.

papa was bringing the reason for the season back to central. after all, what is christmas without 'Christ', i ask you?

all the kids got a big gift to open after all their other gifts. i think andre was a tad disappointed.

yup. its confirmed . he hated it.

bless her heart. shes been asking for this for to years.

my niece got one too. i think she really is excited about it.

i take it back. there is someone out there just as dorky as me. him. he's loving him some iphone touch gloves.

isabela got some neat-o blocks.

daddy got an apple tv.

the week after christmas hanging out on the porch?

riding our scooters? in our spiderman costumes?

the hat gabs is wearing is from my mother in law. she made it. for me. she's got this talent that we just found out about last year and she's only ever made like 3 things. that's just a sin.

isabela had a great first christmas.

i have some more photos to share of the week and of our last chrismas this last weekend. but i'll probs get to that in about a month.

isa has another ear infection.

gabs is back at school today.

my house feels like it's suffocating me.
i have so much to do.
the after christmas mess is always a little overwhelming for me. i need a clean break from the hoildays. and i can never get one. i always have piles of decorations, or presents, or something left over from the de-christmasing of the house. i get a little stressed about having it all under foot.

i'm feeling a little suffocated with my house in general. it's high time it got it's behind organized.

well, that wasn't too bad. started this post at 10 this morning and it's 3:20 and it's just now done. shheeessshhh.

2011-12-30T09:55:00.000-06:00

i can't blog. not because i can't. because my kids won't let me. it's been 3 days of trying. i have a sick baby girl with a tooth just starting to poke through. and two older kids who you'd think have nothing else to do but need me to play with them, or something. i'll get one out there. promise. just as soon as i'm able. tomorrow we leave for 2 days for my gmas in illinois. i'm hoping to get one out before then. cuz after this week, it'll be weird to post about christmas. won't it. it's all becoming a faint memory. .... not really. but i just want to write about it.

how rude

2011-12-23T10:48:00.000-06:00

we started our christmas break this morning at the doctors office at 8:45. gabriela was up all night with an ear ache and tummy ache. i spent some hours on the couch with her, and wrestling around our bed with her and her not feeling good symptoms.

the doc assured me i did the right thing by bringing her in cuz she has a double ear infection. she's had a sinus cold for over a week and it's just settled in the not fun place. i think she's been ear infection free since she was a year old. poor thing. fever and all. that's just an unfair way to start your christmas break. but she's on meds and hopefully will be feeling way better by tomorrow. we start our celebrating with family tomorrow so i'm praying it's all in the past by then.

kids really do get sick at night, weekends and holidays, don't they? here's to better health days ahead.

snacks

2011-12-22T12:38:00.000-06:00

i got a call from a kindergarten mom the other night whose son is in gabriela's class. she didn't know me at all, and that was obvious because she asked me to bring in a treat for the class party today. it's no secret that i take the easy way out when it comes to baking. i don't like to bake. i'm not good at it. i'm getting wayyyyy better as i've had kids. i've even baked some things from scratch. some. not many.

i politely obliged. i didn't want to be 'that mom'. 'oh don't call amanda. she'll just say no. cuz she can't hack it as a good classroom mom.' oh no. i wasn't going to be that mom. butttt....i wasn't going to bake either.

i got on the computer with gabriela and together, we scanned the pinterest pages for a snack that she would love to take. and came upon these

so i said 'YES! i can do that!'

i wanted to wait for gabs to do them, but we got way too late of a start last night, so i was on my own.

first you start with this:

pretzels, kisses, m'n'm's.
sorry, all the pics are going to be funky lighting. it was dark and our kitchen has like 2 working lights.

and then you do this. i felt like one of veruca salt's father's factory workers looking for that golden ticket.

not a fun process, but i was being totally selfless and kept on with it. but i think i got some sort of carpel-tunnel in the process. not complaining. just saying. this is one tedious snack.

then you stack them on the pretzels on a wax paper lined cookie sheet.

i felt like a candy shop. and i liked it.

bake at 170 for 6 minutes. our oven is stupid and old and lopsided, so one half baked to just the right meltiness i wanted. the other side needed a few more minutes. but since i wanted to get them done, and they were going to be seen by littles, i kept them the way they were and called it good.

the final product. aside from being not totally melted...about half were like that....they turned out just the way they were supposed to. i used hugs, peppermint, and regular kisses. my kids sampled them this morning and gave the thumbs up approval. i have this weird thing that i want to take things all the kids will like so they are like 'wow. gabriela brings really good stuff.'. i don't want to be the reason other kids don't like gabi to bring treats. i think they'll like them, though.

the 'recipe' i originally looked at said to turn the mnm's upside down so the m doesn't show. ummmm, no. i'm not going to take the time to do that. the m will just stand for 'merry'.

gabi and andre both had their christmas parties today at school. i wish i could have been to both. can't wait to have my kids home with me for a little over a week! so excited to start the christmas gatherings. so excited to be able to go to church on christmas morning. yeah, christmas!

NOW IT JUST NEEDS TO SNOW!!!

and they shall have a room

2011-12-21T16:19:00.000-06:00

andre loves to vacuum. {isn't vacuum spelled weird?}
his tushie crack is just out there for the wide world to see. he can get away with that now. in a few years though...

wow. didn't know you had to vacuum under there. thanks, bud.

do you ever forget to take meat out of the freezer for supper? i do it all the time. it will be 4:30 and phillippe will be like 'what's for supper?' and i go 'oh crap.' and he'll say 'you forgot to take the meat out, didn't you?' in a non-surprised way. and i'll say 'yes. i did. wanna go to jimmy johns?' and he'll say 'no.'

so yesterday i was a good wife. took the meat out at 10:00. it wasn't thawing out properly, so i unwrapped it and stuck it in the oven as low as it would go for a few minutes to thaw it out. do you ever do that? works like a charm without cooking the meat, like the microwave on defrost mode. that's a joke of a setting. so, i did that. wadded up the paper and set it on the stove. but you know how paper kind of unfolds itself after you've wadded it up? and you know how sometimes you lite a candle in your kitchen so it smells like christmas?

andre got in trouble so i was getting after him. i started to smell something, so i walked into the kitchen. only to find my stove top completely engulfed in flames. the kids were gasping and saying 'oh.my.good.ness.' i just stood there, kind of certain that it would just put itself out. and kind of afraid it wouldn't. well, it did. or i wouldn't be writing this. i let it dwindle down...while i grabbed my camera, still in time to catch a small flame still going. i'm such a good housewife.

for a long time, i've wanted to redo my house to make it a real home. i always thought i'd save my kids rooms for last cuz no one ever sees them.

i've changed my mind.

you see, my kids share a room. our house is set up so strange. a bedroom off the living room, and a finished attic turned 2 bedrooms. you have to walk through one to get to the other. right now, phillippe and i are in one....with our 7 month old...and the older kids share the other one. it's not ideal...like, at all. but it's the situation as it is right now.

my kids don't want us to move downstairs. and we honor that. cuz when we did move down stairs, they were up all night coming down to be closer to us. we just took out that step and moved ourselves closer to them. it's working. except for our kids don't really have a space of their own. i've neglected their room cuz i always thought they'd want separate spaces. they don't. so now i'm going to really go at it. making them a room of their own.

it's hard to figure out how to decorate a room for a boy and a girl so close in age. i've been looking for a while for inspiration. can't really find the one i'm looking for. i'll have to combine a lot of different ideas to get the look i want. and i do mean 'i want'. cuz if i leave it up to them, they'd have one crazy space.

right now, it's a hod-podge of mismatch stuff that needs to be replaced, or painted, or relocated. i have a hard time with it. but i'll get there. come spring, i'm gonna be a redecorating fool. i pity the foo' who stands between me and my paint brush. i do, i do.

i guess the main thing is that they are safe, happy, and healthy, right?
and they are.

see. they're happy.
and the floor's clean. wow. i'm surprised.

here are a few things i've been looking at.

do i go more bold, or stay more neutral? or try to hide the fact that it's a shared space or make each side very gender specific? do i keep it minimal in the accessories, or go all out?

very pressing decisions, i know.

i just want them to have a room they love. that they get excited to be in. i guess i need some very pinteresting ideas to get me started.

creating projects are too much fun!

i'm back

2011-12-19T11:23:00.000-06:00

so...it's amazing what a sick child can do. everything else takes a seat in the back of the limo. way back there. almost to be forgotten.

isabela has been some kind of sick since the middle of september. that's gotta be a record of some sort. i was so excited to finally have a spring baby. clear of all the winter junk and thought we were gonna fly through this season with healthiness. but i seem to have been proven wrong. that little bug either has been sick, had an ear infection, or teething non stop. right now the sickness of choice is a cold with a side of runny nose and cough, and a little teething for dessert. all of that combined = lack of sleep{for us both}, fussiness{for us both}, and not eating right{that ones just her. i got the eating thing down pat}.

so along with blogging disappearing for a week, i've also not kept up on cleaning, putting things away, and hygiene.

i have however, magically kept up on pictures.

so, i won't be doing the 'my tuesday, wednesday,...' right now, but i'll show you a bit o the haps around here the last several days. i'm afraid if i don't get this down right now in one long post, it won't get done.

isa is asleep in her carseat in the bathroom{cuz our bathroom fan in there is as loud as a sound spa. no joke.} and andre is is front of the tv. that's mom language for 'alone time'. better hurry.

this is the first year ever my kids have had full on winter snow gear. i've always thought it was too expensive to buy the whole set. but...since gabi had to have it for school, andre had to have it, just because. he had too much fun in the frostbite weather the other day.

i never tire of seeing my kids in moments like this. totally self-initiated, too. andre will do whatever she is doing. even read princess christmas books.

don't you just love you some kohl's cash?
i do.
it's like surprise money in my purse.

see that evidence of a cold?
poor nugget.
we stayed in the hotel where phillippe's christmas party was this last friday night. mom and dad hung out there with the kids so i could run up and feed the babes if i needed too. ended up being a good thing they were there. she was just not having a good night.

2 things amaze me about this photo. 1.)no matter how many times we stay in a hotel, they never get over how high up we are. i think that's sweet. and 2.) that water is $5.00 a bottle. highway robbery.

i hate that my kids love the iphone. but i love that it lets me get ready.

thanks amanda h for the rockin photo!
and thank you children for the chubby cheeks.

the next morning, we walked all over the skywalk for a 'quick breakfast'. as you can see by the kids expression, the fun we thought they would have walking all over just wasn't to be found. we went back to the hotel for our breakfast that cost one cow, 2 goats, and a whole weeks wages.

phillippe and i put on the christmas play/program each year at our church. this year was the simple christmas story. nothing fancy or done up. just kids, in front, singing...kind of singing. mom and dad got my kids christmas outfits this year. they have NEVER had christmas clothes. ever. they looked fancy. unlike the program. i could have just stuck andre in my pocket with those chucks and that suit!? and my girls? they looked pa-reety!

that's my niece on the left. she and gabs were angels. but gabi was like "i can't wear a costume! you won't be able to see my beautiful dress!" she totally yelled that at me that morning.
andre backed out of being the cutest shepherd the lord did see. instead, he sat in the front row. bothering all the kids in front of us. actually, just his sister and his cousin. okay, actually, just me.

this picture cracks me up. my kids?
why is gabi holding an orange to isabela's chin?
why is andre giving the 'i smell a toot' face?

a family photo. i do believe this is like the 3rd ever for us. geesh. that is on my list to do all the time. get a flippin photo of our family.

oh my wordly. i need a hair cut. major time.

andre was riding his bike yesterday. sans coat. a week from christmas. this is iowa, people. tomorrow, it could blizzard.

i baked cranberry white chocolate cookies while phillippe cleaned out the garage yesterday. my job was way better.

baking chilean christmas bread with daddy.

i'm excited it's christmas week. i truly believe that christmas is more than a day or an event. it's a feeling. i grew up with a mom who made the holidays so special. with decoration, and crafts, and gifts, and food, and family, and memories. i'm lucky. cuz it's carried into my life as an adult. with kids and a husband. and it's my job to make memories for them. i love it. i hope that my kids grow up with more than just a day of excitement. i hope it's a magical feeling inside their hearts. i love all the build up to that special day. i enjoy every last minute of the decorations, and the buying, and the wrapping, and the eating, and the baking. not to be outdone by the awesomeness that is the lord's birth.

i can't believe it's almost here! i'm more giddy than my kids i think.

My Monday

2011-12-12T10:00:00.000-06:00

as promised: a week in my life. {two weeks ago.}

a breakfast of champions.
i always let the kids choose a sugar cereal every other week. freaky fruits. i just love that name.
we're always rushed in the morning. not so much rushed, as just poor time managers. and when i say we, i mean i.

before i took gabriela to school, i washed and dried a load of laundry

and then folded these two loads. ambitious, huh?

no photo--opps---but ran out the door at 8:14 to get gabs to school. our mornings are seriously not glamorous.

no matter my reaction, he will continue to stick crap in the tree. it would be okay if in the process other stuff didn't fall off or break, or get lost.

we played batcave. are you shocked? by now, you shouldn't be.
it's all we do.

isa just sits and plays. she's sweet.

i showered {gasp!}, and we headed out to the library. not without my choffee.

our local lite music station that plays only christmas music the day after thanksgiving until christmas day.
it's always on in my car. sorry christian music station. you are second in command right now. wait. is that backwards?

shortest ride ever to the library.

but long enough to get the bug to sleep.

can't go to the library without destroying a shelf, right?

story time. our library is the best in the nation. i'll stand by that remark forever.

pants on backwards so the undies show. it's his way.

after the library we headed straight to the doctors for isabela's 6 month checkup.

i seriously have the best husband in the world. he goes to great lengths not to miss this stuff. i love him for that. it just rocks.
chubby babes=adords.

andre dreads shot days. he hates to hear her cry. he asks to leave every time. his heart is huge. so is his temper, but i think his heart is bigger.

she got shots and pink eye all in one go-round. stinks.

she feel asleep on the way home, so i put on a show {cuz i'm a fun mom, not neglectful} and got some photo editing done.

then headed to pick up my gabs from school!

headed straight for gymnastics. shes in the colorful leotard.

i sat for an hour in the lobby trying to entertain a 3 year old and 6 month old.

the town gabs has gymnastics in just got a jimmy johns. {aaaahhhhhhh!} and it's only 10 minutes from home, so since sogginess isn't an issue, we established monday nights as jj nights. it lasted a week, but that one time, was so good.

we read lots of christmas books before bedtime.

then daddy took the big kids to bed. he does that often. and i love it.
isabela and i are working on the same bedtime as the big kids so mommy can have just a few minutes of down time to herself, but she's not quite getting that right now. so we just play peek a boo. i think i like that more than alone time. and that's saying something.

then i get to hang out with this hunk. yes. he works a lot. but i never feel ignored while he's on the computer. we still watch shows together and engage in conversation and kisses. okay, sometimes i feel ignored. but then i yell at him and pout and he puts the computer down....for a while anyways.

so this was my monday as it would be on november 28, 2011. it's not fancy. it's not book worthy. but it's our life. and i thought it blog worthy.

around my house....

2011-12-09T10:44:00.001-06:00

...there's an abundance of smiles.

...we protect the good guys.

...we say 'yeahhhhh.'.

...there is ALWAYS art stuff out.

...there is ALWAYS laundry to be folded.

...we've started wrapping.

...buzz guards the tree.

...we believe in the magic of the season.

...i'm finding things that will quickly be outgrown. that makes me sad.

...i love the nutcracker above my bathroom sink. {ignore my dirty wall}

...we keep hold of the things passed down.

...we hang our stockings on the stair rail.

...the newest and final one.

...i love my stocking.

...we play and play and play.

...anything goes as long as it's warm and in a christmas cup. my fav? coffee and hot chocolate mixed together. i call it 'chofee'.

...one day i'll miss all the random toys laying around the house.

...we use christmas books as part of our holiday prettys.

...tools aren't just for boys. and we get in our pj's the minute we get home from school. every.single.day.

...we welcome the snow.

looky what SHE did

2011-12-08T18:26:00.000-06:00

what started out as this....

ended up as this.

and i just let it happen. cuz i had to make dinner.

we just so fun-eh

2011-12-05T16:44:00.000-06:00

i have to get dinner going. and finish cleaning. so i don't have time to 'real blog'. but i wanted to share how much fun we have together. phillippe and i. and how dorky we are. majorly dorky.

homemade chicken potpie and mashed potatoes and salad.
it's a nice day for that...windy and cold and flaky. snow flakes, that is.
it will be a nice meal to share together as a family. i wish we had a fireplace so bad. to snuggle by. to read bedtime books by. ah well. such is the state of this house.

anywho...enjoy our dorkiness.

what i love most about these? besides andre being toats oblivious to the fact that we're doing this? i had no idea that he was doing those face behind me. and he had no idea what faces i was making. i just thought he was testing out the remote. we're made for each other. the wizard and i. i mean, he and i. forgive me, i saw wicked this weekend and just can't get those songs out of my head.

i have the 'i wan it''s today

2011-12-02T14:12:00.000-06:00

in the spirit of the christmas season and the giving and the list making and the 'hummm. what is it that i really want?' thinking, i've been doing a little online paroosing. {is that a real word? if so, how the heck do you spell it?}

in all my searching and stuff, i came across a few things i want. don't need. just want.

this hair cut.

and that smokey eye.

and that sensual stare.

just kidding. i just want that hair cut.

brown boots like this.

or more like this, but with the toe of the pair up above. no, i'm not picky or anything. i just know exactly what i want. oh, and a little more on the camel side of coloring. but i do like this dark brown, too.

love this flannel from old navy.

in all my hunts for clothes {which is usually only when i need to get something for an event.}, i always forget to consider that i'm a stay at home mom. i wear comfy clothes daily. but i never buy them. so i want a sweat shirt like this. also from old navy.

and sweatpants like this. from ON, too.

so, that's what i'm wanting. there is a lot more. isn't that sad? it's fun to dream of things you want. but only for a short while. cuz then you start to feel like you need them. and that's no good. so i'll end my list making for now. and move onto shopping for others. that's more fun anyway.

Giving Thanks in '11

2011-11-29T15:18:00.000-06:00

i li-tra-lee pooped out on taking photos this thanksgiving. why do i get so caught up in the day that i don't get around to capturing it all?

3 kids, maybe?

talking to family, maybe?

eating, um, yeah...maybe?

i always do that, though. and then i kick myself for being that way.

it's a vicious cycle that i hope to break this christmas. do you dare me? do you double dog dare me to take so many pictures my camera can't handle it? oh, i hear that dare. and i accept.

but...what i do have are a few photos of thanksgiving with our families. do enjoy.

isabela with aunt diana on her first thanksgiving. isa's, not aunt dianas.

this is my gma. and me. and isa. that's 3 generations. my gma is failing pretty fast. i've never seen her as bad as she was on thursday. i like this photo. she couldn't love babies more if she tried for a hundred years. they bring a joy to her eyes like nothing else can. i'm glad i have a baby to share with her on days like this.

isabela actually let my uncle greg play with her, hold her, and love on her. she's branching out, people. this is a good thing!

the newly weds on their first thanksgiving as a married couple. aw. matthew was like,' why do you have to get a picture of us on our first thanksgiving?' and i was like 'trust me, you'll want it someday.' and they will. aren't they too cute?

uh, except this is what it's really like. uh huh. i totally understand.

onto the taborga's for dinner. it's safe to say we were completely stuffed by the end of the day. too stuffed for one last piece of pumpkin bars? uh, no. but still really stuffed.

andre was more than thrilled to show his uncles {on both sides of the fam} his hulk book from the library.
cuteness.

she had sweet potatoes in the tradition of thanksgiving.

the traditional 'we're eating dinner, so yes, please fotograph us.' picture.

and that, folks, wraps up the day of giving thanks. we ate a lot...as did the rest of americans {and chileans}, and we hung out with loved family. i spend thanksgiving the same way every year, and because i'm a girl who thrives on tradition, i like it that way.

i think the best part of thanksgiving this year was that my oldest daughter was home for 5 whole days! score!
we tried out a pinterest idea of putting glow sticks in the bathtub. yeah. it was as cool as it sounds.

and then our favorite part of the wintery iowa season. putting plastic on the windows. um, no, it's not our favorite part. we hate it. every.thing.about.it. but that's what you do when you live in a home that's pushing 100. you cover her up so them cold winds don't blow their way in.

oh, let me interpret this photo...

...but really, i'm thankful for this house. really. i am.

we were all able to get lots of 'gabi time' in. we all loved that.

isa is digging the apple.

we ALL loved it.

so i've decided to document one week in my life. life right now. through photos and blog. so next week, i will lay out in detail how my days are spent. monday through friday. it's not oscar worthy, but i wanted to remember these days and all the little seemingly mundane things that fill my life to the top. i wish i would have done this with each year that has passed being a mommy. maybe i'll just do it each year from here on out. but you're excited about that aren't you?.

happy thanksgivin'

2011-11-23T18:20:00.000-06:00

well, ya'll. this is it for my blogging until after the hall-iday weekend.

we are putting up our christmasy goodness this weekend. JOY! don't you love that feeling! it's the best. i almost live for this time of year. okay, i do.

i've been doing a little foto-graphing of some beautiful families. here be a few...

so, everyone out there have a happy thanksgiving. i hope you are spending it with those you want to be spending it with.

b.t.dub.::isabela has taken one nap today. ONE. and slept like crapola last night. i'm having a date night with andre here at the house{movie and popcorn, and popsicles, and candy} while daddy takes gabriela to disney on ice! thanks to lisa for the tickets. she's gonna be on top of the world. i'm glad andre's okay to just stay home with his 'ole mama. he's sweet.

Star Student in the How'se!

2011-11-23T08:05:00.000-06:00

gabriela--MY gabriela was star student of her class for the month of november.

can i get a whoop, whoop?!

it doesn't matter to us if every student in her class will get the chance at this greatness during this year, and over the course of the next 2 years{they do it every year through second grade}. we were happy to have our daughter recognized. and we don't care who knows it.

we ARE the adel tigers. roar.
this is their cute little gym.

there she is. they don't know who is going to be star student until they get to the gym. they all look around to see who's parents are there, and then...they know. she saw us, and gave a short wave like 'yes. it's me.' a year ago, this would have freaked her out and she probably would have cried.

andre was less than amused by the whole deal.

daddy let him take some pics on the camera to pass the time.

her principle says 'this next child was chosen because she is so brave, and puts words with her stories. gabriela taborga!' i wanted to to yell 'go gabs!'. but i didn't want to get kicked of my first assembly as a school kid mom. so i just did it in my head.

its funny how much something like that can make you such a proud parent. i was like 'that's my kid.' every student in there will be in her place through this year, or already has been there, but for some reason, i really did feel like it was a special, she is singled out kind of thing. i'm proud to be her mom. what can i say.

we are so blessed to have both sets of grandparents close enough to come to special things like this. and lucky to have them care enough about it to make it a priority to be there for her. it brings a little tear to my eye to think of what that must mean to gabs. cuz i know how much it means to me.

reaaaallllyyyy not good photo of me{i'm literally sick and tired}, or dre, but ah well. it's us. minus the bug. we are so proud of our kids.

Day 4

2011-11-18T10:26:00.000-06:00

gabi's home from school today. she was sick monday, tuesday, and wednesday of this week. went back yesterday. up last night with a sore throat and stuffy nose.

she cried all.morning.long. i had her all dressed and ready for school...against her will. she just couldn't calm herself down.

you know how hard that is as a mom, right? your child crying to you, the real kind of cry. i called daddy and we decided she could just stay home.

she got back in her jamies, climbed under a blanket on the couch and has been there ever since.

we've had at least one person sick in this house since the middle of september.

i'm ready for the germs to leave.

i have some serious house work to get done. one of the tasks being de-germing everything. maybe we're just getting it out of the way before the real winter comes. ah. that'd be nice, eh?

Roll over Beethoven

2011-11-17T14:26:00.001-06:00

the other night i was taking pictures of things to sell on craigslist....that process takes forever-getting the right angle, the right amount of the product in the frame, the right lighting so it looks good and not cheap...and this nugget was doing her newest trick. so naturally, with camera in hand, i started snapping. now, it was night time, and my external flash wasn't at the right angle for photographing her, but i did it anyway. it was just too fun to miss. she started doing this about 2 weeks ago. a big deal for me, cuz gabs never learned to roll over. andre did a little bit, but both of them would have rather crawled/walked. it's just fun to watch her go.

man, that's flip-book material.

clothes and cars

2011-11-16T10:30:00.000-06:00

i bet you wish you had a laundry closet in your kitchen.

don't you?

i bet you wish that so you could let your son cuddle on the pile of dirty clothes and play games on your iphone so your baby could take a nap.

i bet your kids wish you did, too.

i'm just glad it has a door.

the other day, i was a little irritated about how much attention andre was needing. i'm not a bad mom, really i'm not. but it gets so tiring to be his only source of entertainment.
i love him, though. a whole bunch.
so i thought, hey, i have this painters tape. i'll make him a stellar car path and that will keep him busy for a long time. like, at least 15 mins.

and it did. for as long as i could take these pictures.

then i had to play it with him. and i did. it was a good use of something just laying in the junk drawer. we ended up adding on to it and moving the landing spot all the way across the room. we covered the entire living room in car paths. i just wish i would have saved it for a play date day instead of a 'mommy needs to get some work done' day. it was fun nonetheless. and will def be doing it again soonly.

Thrice times the birthdays

2011-11-15T14:16:00.004-06:00

we have a small house. we both have families of 5, plus spouses, and extra kiddos. because of this, if we have anything at our house it has to be done separately. our kids love that, cuz it means they get to have more parties.

party #1 with the taborgas.

isa was like, bring on the cake.

she had a rapunzel party. she dressed like her...from her halloween costume(glad she's getting use out of the $20 dress i didn't want to buy, but did cuz she looked me right in the eye and said "pppplllleeeaaassseee? i promise i'll wear it all the time?!")

she wanted oatmeal, choc chip cookies with frosting and sprinkles. so i made them.

she got squinkies. have you ever heard of these things? or seen them? they are cool. tiny little squishy people/animals/things that you can play with. andre loved hers so much that we went out and got him his own set that same day. cuz he looked me right in the eye and said "pppplllleeeaaassseee? i'll play with them all the time?!"

and they played and played. all night long.

on gabriela's beauty shop set.

and i held isa and snuggled. cuz she looked me right in the eyes and said "ggaaaa? wwwwaaaaaeeeee?!"
and i knew exactly what that meant...

a little party decor for the 'ouse.
there were streamers and such as well.

the week of her bday, her Lita gave her a card and a charm each day...ending with the bracelet the day of her bday with a bday cake charm. cute. gabi just loved it and has worn it each day since. even to bed.

party #2 with the kinneys
papa getting his baby love on.

daddy stopped on the way home to get her flowers. all they had were fall bouquets. she loved them, in all their fally goodness.

that's my 6 year old.

i made this masterpiece of a cake. i know. it's really great. she originally asked for a rainbow party and changed it last minute to a rapunzel party. she was like "oh. i like it. but i told you i want a rapunzel cake." I was like "ya, i know, but remember you said you wanted a rainbow cake first? and we're doing a rapunzel cake for your friends party. remember?" she said "(sigh) ya, i know." and walked away. wow, gabs. ungrateful much?

she loved it, though. she said, "how did you make those rainbow candies!!" i told her i was magic.

i don't like this picture for the foreground, but for the background. isa was making papa and gma laugh. and i like seeing them so happy. it's cute.

why do i look worried? why can't i take a good picture to save my life? we were making a 6. can you even tell? or are you just too distracted by my "oh no. am i doing this right?" face?

gma got andre a cd player....he pretty much loves it.

party #3 with friends at incredible pizza.
i will forever love this picture of these two.

this is her style. funky hair and all. but i love it. she was nervous to have them sing to her all by herself. but she just looked so darn cute. and old.

uh huh. we were crazy having 13 kids at her party. but they had fun. we had a headache. but they had fun. thanks to those other adults you see in the pic. they stayed to help. they rocked the house.

limbo.

oh andre. you crazy man.

the rad rapunzel cake. this thing was huge and really thick. and it's just what she wanted. a friend of my sister's makes these and i swear, so yummy. she's going to be doing andre's bday cake too. it's dangerous that we have so much left over. i may or may not be eating a piece right now.

so there. now she's officially 6. that shirt she has on was a gift from us. you can color it yourself. totally her. she loved all 3 parties and all her presents and all her friends being there. i have to say, it's nice to be over the party hurdle. for a while, it seemed like that's all we were doing. not that i'm complaining. you know me. anything for a family gathering.

Gooser? You're 6!

2011-11-11T20:59:00.000-06:00

Gabs,
we call you 'gooser'. don't know why. always have. always will.

today is your birthday. it's veterans day, too. i thought it was cool that you were born on a holiday, but not a huge one that would swallow your birthday whole. you don't even know. it's all about you today. and that's okay.

so, you're 6. not 5. 6. it took me months to get used to calling you 'my 5 year old daughter'. um, now i have to age you a year. that is so hard for me to do. it scares me to think you are growing. aging. and i'm {along with your daddy} are responsible for getting you there. to raise you into a beautiful, confident, God loving, responsible, caring, loving, empathetic, strong girl/lady/woman. yikes. God has given us this job. and we will do it to our best ability. which is really nothing without Him. i pray that you grow to desire to seek His guidance.

you had school today. that's weird for me. you're not here with me. i can't tell you happy birthday every time i look at you. you got to take treats, though. and you liked that. puff corn and frosting covered pretzels with sprinkles. green and purple for tangled. you are crazy for rapunzel right now. crazy.

you are so smart kid. your teacher was just amazed at all you already knew and how much you are willing to learn. you've always been smart. ahead. willing and ready to learn. another pray: that you will continue that desire. you are silly. totally silly. you are so ticklish it's not even funny. really. i can't cut your finger nails or toe nails without a fight. cuz you seriously can't sit still. it's both funny and frustrating all at once. you love food. you are a great eater and will usually eat what i give you. usually. you are very kind. to everyone. even andre. although, that takes some coaxing. you love him. but you are annoyed by him. that's the thing with brothers....

you can not get enough physical affection. hugs, kisses, back rubs, hair brushes, arm scratchies, hand holding. it's one of your love languages that's for sure. you are great at gymnastics. i wanted you to fall in love with dance. and you may, later on. but you are a gymnast. i think it's just in you to love that sport. and i'm good with it. cuz you just love it.

you love princesses and all that comes with them. your favs are ariel and rapunzel, but you like them all. that will change someday. and that will be a sad day. it's an innocent thing to love. we talk about why it's okay for jasmine to wear a tummy shirt but you can't. i hope that it's sinking in. you're soooooo aware. of everything.

you are reading. writing. spelling. sounding out. making stories. books. and it's all wonderful. i can't spell things to daddy anymore. you figure it out. fast. and you love math. a lot.

you couldn't love isa more if you tried. you two are bonded, girl. for life.

you aren't that big into sweets. you like them. but you aren't obsessed with them like me. i'm glad.

you argue. all.the.time. i do hope that changes. cuz it's just not fun.

you have your own sense of style. all your own. you will not wear jeans. period. you hate that you can't move around very well. someday i'm sure that's all you'll wear. but for now, you think they stink.

kid, i love you. beyond the stars and before you can get to outer space. {you added that last part. cuz you think before you can get to outer space is longer than beyond the stars. how cute are you?} i love you so much that it physically hurts. when you have kids, you'll understand. everything that's great about you, i love. everything that's frustrating about you, i love. everything i don't know about you, i love. you are half me, half daddy. half american, half chilean. half kinney, half taborga. you are all girl. all wild. all amazing. all YOU.

i hope that today you realize how much we are glad you were born. we wanted you, sweets. so bad. you are our gift from God. and we couldn't adore you more.

thanks for just being a kid. and being great at being 6.

we love you!

love,
you're doting mommy

i wanted to take your picture this morning. just you. you said, 'no. i want to be with isa.' so that's what i did. you are a wonderful big sister to her. she is going to love you more with each passing year.

button noses

2011-11-10T13:01:00.000-06:00

i don't have time to write a normal post. i'm busy {not home-} making gabriela's birthday cake for tomorrow. the big 6'ola! doing laundry, dishes, cleaning, playing, cooing, being a mom and such.

but i thought i would share with you some photos from my impromptu 5 minute photo session i did with isa yesterday. it was fast people, so i'm sorry there's just basically one "pose" and one background. that's what you get with a 5 1/2 month old who was not in the mood for getting paparazzied.

she's cute. she's scrumptious. she's delicious. she's mine. and i want to eat her right up.

enjoy her through the lenses. {oh and sorry for the semi blurriness in the last couple. she moved. i didn't catch the light right. and i was close to her. doesn't matter, she's sweet enough to make it not matter.}

Game Night

2011-11-08T10:00:00.000-06:00

Every friday night, we have a movie night. Popcorn. Candy. Full on family fun. The kids get to stay up a little later...which ends up being only about half hour, cuz they are more tired than they realize.

Last friday, I asked if they wanted to do movie night or game night.

"GAME NIGHT(NIght, Night, night)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" could be heard around the world.

We pulled out a few of the kids fav-o-rito games. Zingo being one of them.

Thanks Gma!

Do you Zingo? You should have this game if you have kids.

it's a bingo style game. you pull back that red box to revel the chips. the first one to grab the ones they need get them.

simple.

fun.

i get to be the red-thing slider-backer. i don't know why i look mad about it. i wasn't.

the stinky part is picking up all the chips when you're done. but it's worth the fun.

the best part is, this game doesn't bring on any fighting.

my kids understand that the first one to grab it, gets it.
i like that about them.

daddy threw his back out in a vicious game o' futball.
he got to lay on the couch and chat it up in a jolly convo with his guy pal.
i'm kidding. he participated in family game night. don't you worry.
wow. he looks 9 feet tall, doesn't he?.

we moved on to Pictureka!.
a game i had on my iphone.
it's safe to say that at one point i was totally obsessed with this game/app.
then, one saturday morning, at a garage sale, i saw it. gleaming at me from the corner of a table. the blue box. i knew exactly what it was. i paid $3 for the brand-spankin new game. and it's been worth every cent.
my kids LOVE this game. and you can tweak it for any age. way fun game. it's basically a semi challenging ispy game.

and that concludes our game night. we all had fun. even isa {not pictured}, just playing on the floor...eating her chubby toes. i love family game night. it will be a constant in our house. family night, that is. at least for as long as i can control what my kids are doing on a friday night. and that will be forever! muahhhhh! kidding. at least for now, anyways.

except for this friday night. for this friday, my baby girl turns 6 years old. ?!?!?!?!? it's happening again. they are aging and i can't do a thing about it. i'm still waiting to hear back from God about the request i put in.

{oh, and a disclamer on this post/pictures...that coffee table? $5 at a garage sale...will be getting stained. the entertainment center is being sold...to the devil, i hope. i hate/loath that stupid thing. getting new curtains, painting the table(behind phillippes head), pulling up the carpet, slip covering those striped chairs, painting the walls, and painting all the wood work trim white. i don't want to hear a word about that last thing. we're doing it. old house or not. it's ugly and will be much more beautified with some bright white. don't try to stop me. there. just wanted to say that. so don't judge.}

I got your moves right here, mister

2011-11-01T16:27:00.000-05:00

Phillippe and I bought our beaut of a house 7+ years ago. We bought it kind of because we had to. It was the only house in our price range that didn't need a total over haul. Plus, we were living at my parents. In their {apartment sized} basement, and wanted to get out. Just married 2 years and needed a place of our own.

We looked. We found. We bought.

Yeah! Homeowners. We just totally knew what we were about to get ourselves into.

NOT.

No clue what it meant to own a home. Our thought="We'll just be here a couple of years, until our 'dream home' goes on the market." Whatever, man. We totally thought we'd be able to have our dream home. ? Um, pa-shaw. We were so naive, honey. Weren't we?

We had Gabriela.

We had Andre.

We put the house on the market because we wanted baby #3.

We took the house off the market after 5 months. Negative vibes and all coming from the 'housing market'.

We had Isabela.

We felt suddenly completely stuck and seriously out-grown for our house.

We talked and talked and talked about listing again. We went for it. Contacted our realtor. He came. He assessed. He dropped the bomb.

We can't sell and get what we need to get out of the house without having to pay up the wazoo for the closing and fees and garb.

Are you kidding me?!

I want to move so badly.

You know what's funny? {if you're a believer, you won't think it's funny. rather God throwing a reality brick in our faces}. The last few weeks at church...like 2 months...every person that has given the message {pastor, elder, guest speaker} has driven home different topics that have related hard core to the way I {we} have been feeling.

"Don't wish you had more money."

"Don't spend your time worrying about what you don't have."

"Don't waste these heartbeats concentrating on what you want, but don't have."

"Bigger isn't always better."

"Use what you've got in your life right now for the good of God. If you don't, you're not doing what you were created to do."

Yada, yada, so on and so forth.

Hello? Amanda? It's me, God. Here's your not-so-subtle brick in the face.

So when I got the email from our man realty, I cried. I called my husband, and cried. I cried when I hung up the phone. And I cried later on that day.

I'm mad. I want to move. I want a fresh start. I want more room. I want more money.

I'm not getting more money. I can't move. So what do I do now?

I focus on what I do have. I start fresh in this house. And I thank my husband for being level headed and not an emotional freak like I am. Girls are just that way.

I'm not okay yet with the fact that I have to stay here. But our plan is to start right away and go room by room to make this house what we never did before. Why put the effort when we weren't going to stay longer than 2 years, right? Well, we're staying for a long time now. I'm not good with that. But I will be. Hopefully. And I hope that good feeling comes soon. Cuz right now, when I think about it, it gives me a sinking feeling in my stomach.

Pretty petty, huh? That I'm not focusing on being grateful for the fact that I even have a home. A roof. A place to keep my kids safe. Yeah, that's my human-ness coming out. I hate that negative person possessing me right now.

So, I'll be documenting our makeover process as we go. It will be a slow process, but my goal is that within the year it transforms into the home we've always wanted. I'm excited to get started on some projects I've been saving for 'our new home'. Phewy on that.

spooky-ooky

2011-11-01T13:05:00.000-05:00

halloween has come and gone. in our small town, we do beggars night. a foreign concept to some of you out there. it's just a trick or treat night not on the actual halloween night. ours, this year, was on saturday night....halloween was on monday.

strange.

but true.

gabs wanted to go as rapunzle. now, i grew up making almost all of my costumes. really. and i've always preferred that method. original and way more fun. my kids don't always see my vision, so they usually aren't as into it as i am.

someday, i will convert them.

so we trucked out to the store, after searching for days for a costume with the hair. she ended up with a princess dress that worked just as well for rapunzle. cuz you couldn't find those anywhere.

andre wanted to be 'the bee guy'...bumble bee transformer. then wanted to be optimus prime...another transformer. then he wanted to be flynn ryder...the guy from rapunzel, so he could match gabi. then he wanted to be some other thing that was silver. but i had already bought 'the bee guy', returned that to get optimus prime. so he was that. we tried to find the stuff at home to make flynn ryder, but what 3 year old has a white button up shirt, a blue vest, brown tapered pants, brown pirate style tall boots and a brown leather satchel? not my 3 year old. so we went as OP. and he was okay with that.

except he didn't wear the mask. notice gabi has a frying pan? just like rapunzel? i think that's adorable.

isa went as a ladybug.
i bought all the makings for a sweet little lamb costume for her. cotton balls, a white soft outfit, and a hat. i started with the hat. it was a huge disaster. phillippe likened it to a george washington wig. it was bad, guys. bad.
so i got on the ole' craigslist and found a ladybug costume in my town for $5.
yeah.
i bought it. and i'm glad i did. it was so cold that night. and she looked cute.

gma bought andre a spiderman mask....so he wore that. he is totally into dress up right now.

daddy wore the OP mask.

trick or treat at gma and papa's.

my niece joined us, too. she was also rapunzle.

the girl on the right is a friend from gabi's class....also rapunzel.

her brother was spidey. andre wanted to show him his real mask. spidey said andre 'looked cute.'
i like that he called him cute.

we came home and all isa wanted to do was chew on those chubby toes.

i think they liked handing out the candy more than getting it.

the next day we went to the zoo. but before we did, we stopped by lita's and gpa's.
lita, as always, was ready for the show.

this kid loves his baby sister. more than she'll ever know.

clifford was sitting there all still and quiet. andre ran over and said 'he's all soft and comfy.', reached out to touch him, and clifford raised his arm to wave. yeah, that freaked andre out.

see? they're getting sucked up in a tornado. we like to act things out when we can. after all, phillippe and i did fall in love on our drama team in high school.

see? gabi and i are being crazy birds.

and see again? we're getting eaten by the big huge tiger thing.

and there you have it. our halloween adventures of 2011. it was cold. it was fun. i'm enjoying the kids candy.