Wednesday, May 13, 2015

the day you were born

 isabela grace.  oh, we wanted you so much.  it took me a year to convince daddy that we could handle three children.  :)  being pregnant with you was hard work for me.  i was sick with you just like i was with the other two before you.  but i was in so much pain all the time.  i had scar tissue from my other 2 c-sections that made it very difficult when you grew and grew in there.  it was stretching all sorts of organs and forcing them to stay attached to my uterus when they just wanted to shift and move on their own.  but, i loved it all the same.  i loved being pregnant.  and i loved carrying you.

 i would go through that pain and recovery and discomfort and scary scary feeling of having a c-section a million times over if it meant i got to have more babies.  but i have to tell you, the hardest part by far is that i didn't get to hold any of you right afterwards.  there is this longing in a mothers heart and an ideal that when we have babies, they will be plopped on our chests after they enter our world and that bonding will immediately start happening.  and i could only touch you with one hand.  but oh that moment when i first saw you.....  perfection.
what a lucky daddy.  :)  he succeeded at being the best partner for going through that process.

 don't get mad at me, but this remains a favorite of mine.  you know why?  because you still look like that when you cry.  (i love you)

 words can't describe this moment.  that recovery room time is hard.  i wasn't very aware of anything going on around me in that tiny closet of a room.  but then they bring you in.  and all i can think of and see and feel and smell and notice is you.

 so what does it mean when they write down your birth date wrong on this little information sheet?
you know what's really funny?....  we didn't even notice this until about A MONTH AGO when gabriela pointed it out as she was looking through your baby book!

first bath. you screamed and screamed until you got in that warm water.  ahh...just like home. ;)

 i cried and cried and cried when they put this bow in your hair.  they did it in the nursery when they took you in for a test.  i felt so betrayed.  it's funny to write that, but i was angry.  i thought, 'great, now i can't take it out because it will pull your little hair and you'll cry!!'  everyone would comment on how adorable it was.  i would just say something about how i didn't do it...the hospital did.
funny the things that get you when your hormones are all messed up .

 we spent a lot of time under this window.  you had pretty bad jaundice.  they sent us home with a billi blanket for a week or so.  but we would lay under this window with you for hours.  you didn't mind the warmth one single bit.

oh isabela.  you were such a little nugget.

leading up to my day to have you, we had been in discussion with my doctor about whether or not i would be able to have more babies.  my body wasn't handling you very well and it wasn't going to get any easier the more we had.  daddy and i thought and thought about it and decided i would just have a tubal ligation while i was in surgery.  it was the safest, and given the circumstances, the easiest way to go.  that was the hardest decision we've ever had to make.  because i still wanted more children.  but during your arrival, during my surgery, my doctor said that i would have most likely had a uterine rupture if i were to get pregnant again.  so our decision had been the best one for my health.  which actually made me feel more at ease with it.  but it was hard.  you were my last baby.  and such a wonderful little angel.

i'm so glad you were born.  and i'm so glad i get to be your mom.  and i wish i could hold you like that one more time....

happy birthday, bug.  you are now 4 years old.  and that's all i'm allowing you to grow.  so there.

Friday, May 1, 2015

updates and random photos

everyone but the man of the house is getting over, or going through, some sort of health/body issue.  we are all just a little 'off' of our normal selves.  the list is just too many to list.  but everything from stomach troubles to ankle problems to this and that.  the onset of the warmer weather is welcomed for sure.  if i didn't love iowa so much, i'd move to a warm place.  forever.  

 i love getting time with my friends.  there is something about being girls together, getting breaks from being moms, that fills me up in a way nothing else can.

 the zoo is a great place to get some energy out.  we will be there many times this summer, i'm sure.
 another one of those dear friends that can do wonders for my soul.  WONDERS.

 gabriela and i saw wizard of oz on stage.  phillippe bought me tickets and we were going to go together, but ended up not being able to get a sitter.  so i took my girl.  i'm so glad it worked out this way because she had the best time.  i did too.  sharing that with her was a moment i won't forget.  i don't get much time with her anymore like this so when it happens we both tend to cling to it for quite a while.  i love this girl and the lady she is growing up to be.
every year our school does donuts for dads and muffins for moms.  i love this tradition very much.  

 andre drew this picture of him and i having muffins together.  :)

i have laundry coming out of my ears at any given moment.  i'm happy to move onto washing less bulky clothes and way less socks than the colder months.

 i love these 4 very very much.

 i couldn't love andre's new pj's more if i tried.

 i had a family who wanted photos taken.  the weather was not warm and it was so windy.  but they were pretty insistent that they not wait any later to get them done.  i mentioned that we could do them in my home.  don't ask me why.  all i know is that i will NEVER be doing that again.  babies are one thing.  an entire family is another.  it was not worth the trouble i went through to get it ready.
however....they were so happy with their photos and thanked me over and over for going through all of that just for them.  which made it all worth it.  for that one time.  but seriously, i will never do that again.

it did make me realize that i need to change out a few things.  add some color and depth in there.  which isn't always a good thing for my bank account....

 sometimes, junk food is all that can turn a day around.

 i've been trying to get more fit.  stay hydrated and all that.  i do not like it one bit.  water, or exercise.
 Andre wrote me this sweet acrostic poem.
"I love you mommy
Loving, caring, and 'kindness'!
Oh, my, you are so beautiful!
Victory is yours!
Eek! how can this get any better!
You are awesome!
Oh my you're the best!
U are so amazing!"

i tell you what, it doesn't get any better than hearing those words come from your 7 year old son.
he had the kindest heart of anyone i know.

 more library time.

 for some reason, our grass didn't grow back this spring.  it looks really sad.  we're trying this first to see if it does anything.  our neighborhood is lush and green.  and then there's our yard.  brown and not growing.  sad.
 we got to have cash over the other night.  he's such a funny kid.

 the lots around us are so much fun for the kids to play in.  whatever will they do when they are all developed?

 our park has a sand volley ball pit that i'm not sure has ever actually been used for volleyball.  but we love it as a giant sand box.

 we had the last story time at the library the other day until summer.  they did a camping theme.  it was adorable.

 a little shopping time with grandma.

we are outside all the time.  getting dirty and playing hard.  this is what i love.  we've already had our first tick, which i do not love.  we are so ready for school to be out.  we live outside in the summer.  our next few weeks is pretty busy with birthdays and family get togethers and photo sessions and doctor appointments and school parties and picnics and outtings.  my goal is to not forget one thing.  fingers crossed.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

just a little of our everyday life

 when i tell people that isabela is a special kind of diva, they smile and say something sweet.  but i'm really not kidding.  she is a full blooded, been that way since birth, diva.

 gabriela got a balloon from a birthday party that she went to.  she taped a note to it and let it go.  i wonder where it ended up.....

 i'm sad to say that i got no pictures of my kiddos in their easter clothes.  none of them with their easter baskets.  none of them hunting for them.  none.  it was not the smoothest of days for our kiddos and the grumps.  we had phillippes family over for dinner that night and did a hunt with the kiddos.  my family was out of town that weekend.  it was a good day...but all in all kind of a weird day.  didn't feel quite the same as it usually does.

 but phillippe and our nephew matched, so that was adorable.

 this pile has doubled in size.  these are clothes that are too small for my kids right now.
gah.  stop growing!!!

 flip flop weather comes and goes.  but i like when it comes.

 the kids like to go with us to get firewood.  we go through a lot of fire wood.  now that s'more season has started....

 isabela has had like 2 trims in her life.  but she recently decided to get a lot of hair cut off.   about 8 inches.  it suits her well.

 i have bribed her and begged her to practice writing her name.  did i mention she's a diva?

she finally did it!  it's a pretty big deal for her.  and me.